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Losing A Connection to Find Love
Submitted by Jennifer Tardy on May 5, 2010 - 1:00amTo some degree, our relationships are no different than Sandra Bullock’s. Sure, we may not have access movie directors, stylists, agents and million-dollar contracts. Most people don’t! But one of the places where we are all very similar is that we are extremely connected to those we love most: our children, friends, and especially our significant others. In this regard, where it matters most, we are all pretty much the same. We show love, receive it, become comfortable with it, and start making more plans for it to continue. And then something unexpected happens. Someone wants out of this connection, someone’s actions shattered the foundation for the connection, and ultimately, someone ruined everything!
We all risk waking up one morning disconnected—literally!
Bullock realizes what this concept means. As I’m perusing through an interview of the actress in a People magazine article written by J.D. Heyman and Alexis Chiu, I remember how losing the connection of someone you love so dear can be one of the most painful feelings on earth. It’s a feeling that most can resonate with if you’ve been living long enough. When your season with someone is done, where do you go? How do you move on? And most importantly, what do you do with those plans you’ve made for the future? Bullock described her feeling as needing to, “make sense of all of it.” Remember that feeling?
If you are anything like many of us, you mourn the loss. You deal in the sadness. You sit at a table of despair. You cry, you live confused, you breakdown, you pack your bags and move in to a world that is outside of your element—outside of who you really are. And you may even stay there for a while.
And one day, in the midst of everything, when you least expect it, the SHIFT happens. You stop crying. You accept the disconnection. You learn the lesson. You slowly open your heart again. Only when these things happen are you able to recognize that, SomeHow I’m Fully Transformed. At that moment are you able to realize that you are actually experiencing the SHIFT. It’s the moment that Sandra Bullock experienced in the midst of her adoption of Louis. In the midst of everything she was involved in, she found a new love (and deeper connection) in him.
If you, too, are waiting for the SHIFT in your life, you must allow yourself to accept the original disconnection, keep your mind open in order to learn the lesson, and slowly open your heart again. You have to do it in this order. Since everything does happen for a reason, allowing yourself to continue to move forward until you learn what’s meant for you is the best “meantime” solution.
If you are reading this article and you feel I am speaking to you, just remember that you have to believe that there is something more meant for you. Be inspired by Sandra Bullock and her new life SHIFT. In the midst of the divorce filings, and physically separating herself from her husband and step-children, she still has the heart to say, “We wouldn’t know sweet moments in life unless we had the pain.” And in the midst of opening her heart to her new love, the only thing she says is that her want for Louis is, “That he sees that life’s sorrows don’t eliminate the great joys.” Now that’s beautiful.
