I observe people set themselves up. And although I wish I could say that I've watched them set their selves up for success, it is often that I watch others set their selves up to be unsuccessful. I've been guilty of it before... mostly while in college. I would know in advance that I had a project due in school and I would wait until the last minute to get it done. Finally, when I would have only one day remaining to complete my project, I would get invited to a party. Here's when I would convince myself that I would only go out for a little while and when I returned home, I'd take care of my homework at that time. But guess what would happen? I would go out, have a ton of fun, and I would stay out. I would be so exhausted upon returning home that I would go straight to bed. Project Unfinished.

I set myself up for failure.

What was I thinking? Truth be told, when was the last time I ever went out for only one hour? I could have easily finished my project beforehand, but I didn't. I'm glad I learned my lesson at a younger age. I've learned that I need to be just as protective of myself as I am of those I love. So, I've learned to coddle myself.

Girlfriends, coddle YOURSELF! Overprotect yourself. Set yourself up for success. If you know how you work, do not work outside of that. Work within your bounds until you've consistently proven to yourself that you are ready for more freedom. This is how you set yourself up to meet deadlines, achieve goals, and accomplish projects. If you know that you are going to have a long night celebrating with the family for the holidays, go ahead and get your work done early.

The hardest part is not in knowing yourself or knowing how you are under different circumstances. The hardest part is in trusting that the "self" you claim to know will show up for you this time. The hardest part is in trusting that the "self" that you've just justified will (this time)be reliable, dependable...and will pull through. I actually have to trick myself into staying on path sometimes. For instance, when I know I have a lot of work to do, I'll set up "work days" and I'll ask someone in advance to meet me somewhere...to do work. I know that I don't like standing people up, so I show up and I don't like embarrassing myself, so I bring my work! So when I show up, I do work! I overprotect myself to ensure that my goals are reached. Overtime, I've learned to trust myself a little more. I've build a reputation within to trust that if I ever need to wait until the last minute to complete a project that I will get it done. But, I'm still working on the full trust aspect.

Girlfriends, know the "self" that you always trust to show up for you all the time. If your "self" is not yet ready for that level of responsibility, coddle her. Overprotect her. Build her to the place of trust so that you know the next time you really need her to pull you out of a crunch, she'll show up for you. If she is not ready for you, you need to stand in for her. Yes, the "responsible" you. This is the one who sets boundaries, deadlines before due dates, and the one who tricks herself into completing things. Either way, it is high time that you start showing up for yourself in a way you've never before done.