Lifestyle Dating & Relationship Tips
Contact Me
Recent Blog Posts
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 365: Goodbye, My Girlfriends...
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 364: 7 Things I Wish To Say...
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 363: Why Can't It Be Both?
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 362: Setting Yourself Up...
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 361: Certain Things Cannot Be Rushed...
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 360: What To Do In The Meantime...
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 359: Do You Know Better?
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 358: Through The Eyes Of Another...
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 357: What Is Real Love?
- Letters to My Girlfriends: Day 356: Doing What You've Always Known...
Find Information
RSS Feed
Interview Questions
Where are you from?
I’m from a very small town in Virginia called Hurt.
When and why did you begin writing?
I began writing leisurely in 2008. A lot of what I write about relates to what I would have told “my younger self.” There were so many circumstances/relationships that I would have avoided had I been warned at an earlier age.
I had also been having many heart-to-hearts with close girlfriends. It was very ironic that they seemed to all go through similar situations related to dating and relationships. At the time, I thought that if I wrote down my advice, it would be easier for them to reference it, if needed.
What exactly is a Healthy Relationship Activist?
Along the way, people kept asking me if I was a "Relationship Expert." I've realized that some people need titles to help them understand exactly what it is that one does--and that's okay. I would always say, "No, I'm no expert although there are many things that I know, research, and educate/train others - regarding relationships."
I refer to myself as a Healthy Relationship Activist to help put what I do into perspective for those that need the title. Like any activist, my passion is encouraging healthy relationships and helping to heal broken hearts. I'm an advocate and activist; a passionate person and I love every minute of it.
To put it in simpler terms, an expert claims to tell you things about yourself you didn't know, but a Healthy Relationship Activist, like myself, reminds you of Who You Really Are--when you need to hear it most.
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
It took a very LONG time. I knew that I was a talker, but a “writer” or an “author” took me a long time to embrace. Hmm…I would say, it wasn’t until I had my final draft of my first book in hand that I considered myself an author.
Do you have a specific writing style?
I love the “conversational” style of writing. When readers open my book, I want them to hear my voice—as if I am in front of them with my glass of wine, during one of our girl’s nights.
How did you come up with the title?
An interesting fact is that most of my titles come before the book. This specific title came at the time I created the concept: His Ingredient Label. I had another subtitle, but was told that it was (and I quote), “a bit crass” by one of my editors. This notion was in the back of my mind as well and so I changed it soon after. The first subtitle was, “A Woman’s Guide to Understanding What She is Putting in Her Body.”
Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
Yes. There is nothing that you can do to “make” him faithful or loyal. The only alternative is to date a man who “wants to be and believes in being” faithful and loyal. The character of man means everything.
Are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?
Both. All of the experiences were inspired by true life events.
What books have most influenced your life?
“The Power of Focus” really changed my life. This was the first book I had picked up in a very long time, but it really helped me to understand why I couldn’t “move,” or wasn’t as motivated as I would have liked to have been.
“Life Lessons for my little Black Girls” by Natasha Munson, really confirmed my direction in writing. There was a time when I had almost decided not to move forward with my first book. I almost decided to leave it sitting in my office closet and to not publish it. I then picked up her book (as I had hundreds of times before when I needed some advice) and there it was,
“People need and want help and sometimes the only way they’ll get it is if you jump in. Why acquire knowledge if you’re not going to share it? Please God, get out there and help somebody learn. Teach somebody what you know. Don’t sit up in the house saying the community is going downhill when you could be helping someone, even one person, get their life on track. It’s just not excusable and should be totally unacceptable to you.”
Wow. Even reading this now, helps me to remember why I am pushing forward with each title.
What book are you reading now?
I am reading a ton of publishing books, of course. But, I am also reading our February book of the month for our online monthly book club, Conversations with God.
What are your current projects?
I am really focused on giving myself to my community through volunteering and mentoring. I currently have two mentees that Rock! I am also really trying to get the word out about our Teen Journal Project to show others how only a small amount of effort can really change the lives of our young teenage girls.
Name one entity that you feel supported you outside of family members.
My girlfriends have so much energy. Too much energy! I am so blessed to know so many awesome women who have also supported me throughout this journey.
Do you see writing as a career?
No, I see it as a passion—as a release. It can be extremely therapeutic.
If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?
Yes, I would have published it sooner.
Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?
I’ve kept journals all throughout my adolescence and even as an adult. I’ve gotten away from it recently, but whenever I read over past entries, I’m always taken back to the place when the experience occurred. It’s pretty deep.
Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?
Yes, the most challenging part of writing on my topic is having to hear the stories from real life women who are experiencing them. Another hard part is having to recommend to a woman (who ask) that they should probably walk away from their unhealthy relationship. This has to be the hardest thing to do. My heart goes out to each one of them.
What was the hardest part of writing your book?
The hardest part is staying focused on only one book at a time. I could be in the middle of writing one book and have an extraordinary idea about another book I have in mind.
Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?
I learned that I am not as bad at explaining my concepts as I had once believed.
Do you have any advice for other writers?
Write about something that you are passionate about because it will be your main sense of motivation when you feel like you couldn’t possibly write any longer.
